Disciplining is a funny thing...

When working with my kids, I've found that there is no clear path or black and white with disciplining. Instead it's picking and choosing your battles, choosing when to harp on them or when to congratulate them. For instance, yesterday at bedtime Grayson was in trouble. Go figure, Gray + bedtime = trouble. He's tired, not a lot of self-control and I don't blame him. But, he had pushed Addie a little too much so was sent to bed.

After tucking him in, turning the lights off and going downstairs to finish running I heard a loud "MOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!" over and over again. At first I decided it would be better to ignore it. Not to give in and give him the satisfaction of getting a result from yelling. After 15 minutes of it, however, I could stand it no more. I went up there to find him in his room playing with the light back on. And somehow, mysteriously, the fingernail clippers on the floor of his room.

When I asked him how they had gotten there, he immediately fessed up.

"I did it. I brought them in here." Fingernail clipppers are like weapons of destruction in Gray's hands, he can do some damage. So as I proceeded to calmly, be proud of me for that, talk to him about how he shouldn't have them in there, he said,

"Well....., at least I didn't lie!!" And there it is. So, I needed to in the same moment, give props and support the honesty but somehow reprimand ALL of the other things he had chosen to do. Like I said, picking and choosing your battles. So, I congratulated him for being honest and focused on that. Told him we'd have a better day tomorrow that it was amazing he chose to be honest while in trouble, that choice is a hard one to make.

I am CONVINCED that we need to be noticed when we make good choices, even if we only make one good one in the middle of 10 bad ones. I mean, who really wants attention brought to all of their flaws when in the midst of those flaws there is a shining star?? That's how I want it to be with me. So at the end of the conversation - Gray and I just remember that he was honest and celebrated the good choice he had made... So when parenting, I have decided to bring attention to the GOOD choices. I will discuss the bad ones, but put the Good ones on the front burner to show my kids that those Good choices are noticed, right???