Thursday, February 12, 2009

How would you react?

So today was an interesting and eye opening day for our house. Matt was at work in Lehi and I was supposed to be lifting (but fell asleep on the couch instead) when the phone rang. Luckily I woke up and saw that it was Addie's school. Addie's teacher was calling to let us know that some "drama" was going on that we should be aware of. During lunch recess, two boys decided to tag team our daughter and the one behind her that she couldn't see would grab her in her privates while she was trying to get the other one to stop. She did not start it. The first boy pushed her down to start the whole thing and then grabbed her in that area. When she got up, completely angry, and began chasing him away the other would come up behind her. Get it? This went on for at least 4 times. This happened at the end of recess and immediately upon going inside, my brave 7-year old daughter went right to her teacher and told her what had happened. From there, the principal, vice principal, recess duty teacher, Addie's teacher, Addie and the two boys began meeting. All of the kids were questioned at length, with the boys' story constantly changing and Addie's consistent and true. As a result, the boys were suspended for today and tomorrow, a meeting is scheduled for Tuesday morning with all parents involved to discuss any further action.

So. . . here is my question. What would your reaction be, how would you handle it, and what type of discussion would you have with your child?

I have to say - we could not be more proud of Addie. She cried once, when she was embarassed about having to talk to the principal about it. She is not still angry at the boys, is very mature about it, and feels no shame in telling the teacher. She told me that she knew what the boys were doing was wrong so she told her teacher. I told her that we, her parents, back her up and ALWAYS want her to be able to tell an adult when something like this happens. Her dad told her that he wants to hunt those boys down and teach them a thing or two. . . Here's the kicker, (although I am the furthest thing from racist or any of that garbage) - neither of the boys parents can speak English, at all. So Matt and I cannot communicate with them and a translator has to be there on Tuesday . . .
Tell me what you think. . .

12 comments:

KimMoore said...

Ha ha! Well not funny for Addie but funny that you and the parents will not be able to communicate. I think I would just talk to Addie about what is going to happen on Tuesday, and have her tell the boys and their parents how she feels about the situation.
This is what I do as a teacher. I always take the "really upset and feel violated approach". Tell the parents you do not feel comfortable with their boys being out at the same recess as Addie. The the school you are upset that no one saw this going on. From my stand point that is absolutely ridiculous that no one saw this! That's what teachers are on duty for.

Daines said...

Katie! That's crazy! I'm so proud of Addie. That must have been difficult for her to talk about, but I'm so proud of her for standing up for herself. I wouldn't presume to know how to talk to her about it, but if I were there, I would tell her how proud I was of her for standing up for herself.
I don't know as it relates to the boys and their parents, but I know that you and Matt will handle everything well. Love you guys...

Tammy said...

Those boys should have some kind of punishment that goes beyond being suspended for 2 days. That is sexual harassment and if they were a little older would be in TONS more trouble. Obviously they knew what they were doing and something needs to be done to teach them a lesson before they get old enough to actually rape someone. This whole thing just sickens me.

The Shavers said...

I am still in shock, and I agree that those boys should have a much more serious punishment. I am so proud of Addie that she knew that it was not right and that she talked to her teacher about it. I am sure that you guys will do the right thing and handle it well.

Anonymous said...

I'm so proud of Addie for talking about it and being so brave, tell her for me! I would be livid that this wasn't SEEN, how could it not have been, it's appalling... Take that up with the school for sure. Love you!

-Gin

Candy Javier said...

This makes me so angry! I am so appalled that something like this could happen. It appears that the childrenw were completely unsupervised... oooo, I am mad.
Addie rocks. She was so brave and strong, I too am so proud of her. Ooooo... I am still so mad.

Anonymous said...

Katie,

This is pretty serious. Give me a call before your meeting. I have some experience with this. Dad

Anonymous said...

I would completely teach them a lesson before they do this ever again!! Love, Tim/Uncle Tim

PS Tim's "word verification" that we are seeing below is "hearangl". Addie is an angel and God most definitely hears her...

Anonymous said...

In the end, we cannot control what others do...we can only control how we react. The Empowerment of Addie is the real theme here...as she chose to Stand in a Holy Place of Righteousness...period!! Part of being in that Holy Place is forgiving AND forgetting...while assuring that the what must be done by way of deterring punishment is taken care of...and even that she is doing by trusting the adults... Adults...stand on principles of righteousness and behave as Christ would as the next steps are being closely monitored by children's wondering hearts and eyes. Finally, the comments make it obvious...DON'T MESS WITH ANYONE IN THIS FAMILY UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DEAL WITH THE ENTIRE CREW!! Love, mom/gma

Anonymous said...

Well actually that would be considered more than sexual harassment, this would be considered a sexual assault! If older and prosecuted with some of the new discussions for sex offender these boys could be on a registry for the rest of their lives! This is VERY serious! My experience tells me there are some REAL problems if little boys in 2nd grade are sexually acting out! I would want to beat up these boys dad's or male figures in their lives...but anyhow. That's another discussion for another day.

I would continue to help Addison feel good about her decision and continue to help her understand why this was wrong (what the boys did, not her) and continue to help her understand that her body is one of her greatest, my precious gifts, that is only to be shared with someone special at the appointed time in her life. The MOST important thing to do is help her realize that her body is special! This type of incident can lead young girls to have poor body image and self esteem problems. This is a very delicate situation and should always be approached with prayer and fasting. I've talked with MANY professionals about this very issue because as the father of girls, it's SO IMPORTANT for them to understand how precious their bodies are...good luck guys! We can talk at the movies about this if you want.

Nox

P.S. Tell Addison to play with Ray-Ray at recess, cause he'll handle those punk next time! I know Jr. and Mona would want Ray to stand up for his cousin!

Mona Maile said...

My mouth was opened and I kept gasping as I read this! I really cant believe that kids are doing this and especially to the sweetest kid ever! Naki's right.....Ray loves telling everyone at school that Addie is his cousin and knows that you always stand up for your family. Please tell Addie we love her.

Anonymous said...

I just love the expanded definition of "cousin!!" We are so blessed to have one another! Love, gma/mom