Bloody nose on my feet

Not that this has anything to do with anything. But as I was sitting here working on this Gray came running inside upset and said that he had a bloody nose on his feet. . . Who knew that was possible? This would be about 20 minutes after I sent him outside because he was making goldfish cracker mush in the living room by pouring his goldfish crackers into a big pile on the coffee table and then pouring his water cup over them. As if that wasn't enough, then he needed to mush them altogether with his hands - like kneading dough. And as if THAT isn't enough to teach me patience, earlier today I was returning something at Costco and Gray swore he would be good if I let him walk. Guess what happened - he darted into the entrance telling me that I couldn't catch him with a devilish laugh over and over again. I literally had to run and catch him - and when I did he let out a bloody murder scream as if I was beating his butt- boy would I like to. . . . Anyone want to borrow a 2 year old today, or for the next month or so?